However, some traditional values have, in fact, contributed to the problems that have always plagued the Indian family – problems such as wives being deserted, domestic violence, child abuse, female infanticide, dowry, and abuse of daughters-in-law – so returning to “traditional family values” cannot serve us well in all respects.

Christians and Criticism of Culture: God’s plan for family differs in many ways from that prevalent in South Asian culture. The Bible judges all cultures, because it is God’s word for all people. No culture is perfect, and people must change a cultural custom if it does not meet God’s standards.

Cultural behaviours are fine when they have no moral implications; however, if cultural customs lead to morally unacceptable outcomes, like casteism, that will not allow a fellow human being to be treated as an equal, then Christians must speak against it, and work against it. Judging women as less valuable and their wishes invalid, treating daughters as unwanted, or discriminating against them in food, health, education, value and love in the family, is morally unacceptable. Unjust family customs call for change

Jesus as the Example for Cultural Change: Our example, Jesus, rejected much of the culture of His time. Jews did not eat with non-Jews or associate with people they called sinners, but Jesus disobeyed, eating with people said to be unclean (Mark 2:15-17, 14:3, 18-23). In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught, “It was said… but I say to you…” (Matt 5:21, 27, 31, 33, 38, 43). He was explaining to His followers that they could go against their own culture. It is the task of Christians in each nation to understand the culture and follow Christ in saying graciously, “But I say to you…” All of us can work to change family structures and patterns that damage both families and individuals.

Suicide: South India has a higher rate of suicides per 100,000 people than anywhere else in the world. The four states are estimated to have 50,000 suicides a year, approximately 137 a day. In most of the world, three men commit suicide for every one woman, but research on young people in Tamil Nadu found that two young women commit suicide for every one young man. Suicide was the reason for the death of 50 to 70 per cent of young women who died. An Indian women’s group in London said, “The high instance of suicides among Asian women is linked to abusive practices within Asian families.”

Beulah Wood, a Partner with IS NZ, is an author, editor and lecturer. This article has been excerpted from her latest book, Families in the Plan of God: a Theology for South Asia, which addresses the needs and problems of the South Asian family and culture. For more information please visit the Resources section on our website www.interserve.org.nz.

India… they say you either love it or you hate it, there’s no middle ground. Maybe it’s because in India everything about life is so intense, so rich, so colourful, so strongly flavoured, and so loud. India gets under your skin!

India has had a profound impact on my own life since, as a young seeker from a disillusioned western background, I first encountered her. I was one of a generation of dropouts, searching for meaning and a different way through life. As I drifted through the subcontinent and took in the incredible intensity, experimented with drugs, poked my nose into temples and mosques and churches, and befriended holy men and ordinary folk alike, something in me changed, and I have never been the same since.

What most deeply changed me, in the midst of this amazingly potent and often toxic mix of culture, religion, and existential struggle, was when Jesus walked into my life with such clarity and authority that I became a sold-out Christ follower. It was a power encounter – a spiritual conquest – and sharing Jesus through mission became my prime pursuit and passion.

India does that to people – it inspires passion. One of the things I love about Indian Christians is that they love Jesus with an abandon and fervour that we in the West find hard to follow. They have an understanding of the powerful nature of God, and can engage in theological or philosophical thought whilst also caring for the needy. Yes, there are other aspects where they – like all of us – fall short and fail. But when walking and living with Indian Christians in close quarters as we did, in intentional community – wow, you need to be madly in love with Jesus or you pack your bags and get out.

This is the country where Interserve was born, and India’s vibrancy and passion still pulses in the veins of our fellowship. Interserve grew of age in India before reaching out beyond her borders, and as a mission fellowship we have now come full circle, sending India’s sons and daughters to share the good news of Christ abroad. And while still financially needy and stretched, India has other resources – like her people, her multicultural context, and passion – that she is rich in, and wants to contribute towards mission.

One of the hallmarks of our Indian inheritance is Interserve’s concern for gender equality. Created to serve the women of the zenanas, Interserve has, from its inception, been a mission that stands against the tide, and stands for equality, justice, and an integrated gospel that brings freedom from any yoke of slavery. Intrepid women from across the world responded to the call of Christ to help bring freedom to India’s girls and women through education, and the opening of schools, colleges and universities.

Then at a time when it was still considered indecent for women to train for a medical career, Interserve pioneered women’s medical missions. This in turn led to Queen Victoria sanctioning the training of women doctors, both in the UK and India, and the provision of medical care and hospitals for Indian girls and women. What an amazing story of God walking with His people (see page 6).

As you read this GO, and the range of articles contributed by Partners from across the Interserve world, may some of that same Indian passion, that vibrancy and life, encourage you in your walk with Jesus.

Finally, we had a great Interserve Day last month, and recently our IS NZ Council met to brainstorm on God’s leading regarding the future of missions. We are interested in hearing what you sense God is saying to the wider body of Christ, and to us as Interserve – please do drop me a line, I would love to hear from you!

“I think I need to be honest,” the evangelist said, looking me straight in the eye. “I know that I am supposed to love the people I’m reaching out to, but when I think of Muslims, I think of terrorism, political posturing, and burqas. That’s why I’m here tonight: I need to learn to see the real people behind the stereotype of Islam.”

‘Here’ was a four-week series of seminars that I was running in Gloucester, UK, entitled Understanding your Muslim Neighbour. Aimed at people from local churches, the seminars were designed to inform and equip the churches, and help them build good relationships with their Muslim neighbours.

This is not the first such course that Urban Vision, Interserve’s cross cultural team in England and Wales, has held. Another course, called Friendship First, was developed by Steve Bell, the England and Wales National Director. About six weeks in length, the Friendship First course aims to bring about a deeper understanding of, and attitude change towards, our Muslim neighbours, and sums up the ethos of Urban Vision: how can we call anyone to Christ unless we first show them that they are loved?

Tim and Rachel Green have also developed an interactive course, which draws on the Friendship First material. It runs over ten weekday evenings, and helps people engage with their Muslim friends, and be able to present Christ to them in a culturally sensitive way. The most recent course (it runs every year in their home town) had nearly 40 participants from a dozen local churches. Now this model is spreading to other towns. The aim is for ordinary Christians to gain the vision, confidence and skills they need to share Christ with ordinary Muslim people. Mission to Muslims is not just a task for specialists!

The 2001 census revealed that about 1.6 million Muslims, from many different cultures and backgrounds, live in the UK. While that’s only 2.7% of the population, because of media coverage (including some Christian media approaches) and a certain strain of politically active Islam, many Britons have an underlying sense of fear and of ‘being taken over’.

Urban Vision is working towards breaking down that media-fed fear, and encouraging Christians to engage with Muslims in long term friendship. And as Christians step out of their comfort zones, lives are being changed and communities transformed – not just amongst Muslims, but also amongst those Christians who are reaching out.

While people from Muslim situations are used to living faith publicly, worshipping communally and praying together frequently, church-goers in the UK are used to praying in private and being slightly embarrassed about faith in public. To be open to the needs of new followers of Jesus from a Muslim background is to be challenged to be public, communal and family in ways that take us beyond our comfort zone, and modify our existing church structures.

And yet, isn’t this the challenge of Jesus Himself? Is this what we’re called to do and have maybe slipped away from?

Jesus calls us all to follow Him, from stereotype to neighbour, from fear to family. In doing so we too are changed and new family members are found and welcomed by the Father.

Colin Edwards is the Team Leader for Urban Vision. Originally from NZ, Colin is coming back on Home Assignment in August.

“I think I need to be honest,” the evangelist said, looking me straight in the eye. “I know that I am supposed to love the people I’m reaching out to, but when I think of Muslims, I think of terrorism, political posturing, and burqas. That’s why I’m here tonight: I need to learn to see the real people behind the stereotype of Islam.”

‘Here’ was a four-week series of seminars that I was running in Gloucester, UK, entitled Understanding your Muslim Neighbour. Aimed at people from local churches, the seminars were designed to inform and equip the churches, and help them build good relationships with their Muslim neighbours.

This is not the first such course that Urban Vision, Interserve’s cross cultural team in England and Wales, has held. Another course, called Friendship First, was developed by Steve Bell, the England and Wales National Director. About six weeks in length, the Friendship First course aims to bring about a deeper understanding of, and attitude change towards, our Muslim neighbours, and sums up the ethos of Urban Vision: how can we call anyone to Christ unless we first show them that they are loved?

Tim and Rachel Green have also developed an interactive course, which draws on the Friendship First material. It runs over ten weekday evenings, and helps people engage with their Muslim friends, and be able to present Christ to them in a culturally sensitive way. The most recent course (it runs every year in their home town) had nearly 40 participants from a dozen local churches. Now this model is spreading to other towns. The aim is for ordinary Christians to gain the vision, confidence and skills they need to share Christ with ordinary Muslim people. Mission to Muslims is not just a task for specialists!

The 2001 census revealed that about 1.6 million Muslims, from many different cultures and backgrounds, live in the UK. While that’s only 2.7% of the population, because of media coverage (including some Christian media approaches) and a certain strain of politically active Islam, many Britons have an underlying sense of fear and of ‘being taken over’.

Urban Vision is working towards breaking down that media-fed fear, and encouraging Christians to engage with Muslims in long term friendship. And as Christians step out of their comfort zones, lives are being changed and communities transformed – not just amongst Muslims, but also amongst those Christians who are reaching out.

While people from Muslim situations are used to living faith publicly, worshipping communally and praying together frequently, church-goers in the UK are used to praying in private and being slightly embarrassed about faith in public. To be open to the needs of new followers of Jesus from a Muslim background is to be challenged to be public, communal and family in ways that take us beyond our comfort zone, and modify our existing church structures.

And yet, isn’t this the challenge of Jesus Himself? Is this what we’re called to do and have maybe slipped away from?

Jesus calls us all to follow Him, from stereotype to neighbour, from fear to family. In doing so we too are changed and new family members are found and welcomed by the Father.

Colin Edwards is the Team Leader for Urban Vision. Originally from NZ, Colin is coming back on Home Assignment in August.

The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe … The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world (John 1:5-9).

As believers, we are called to be a light in the dark places. Unfortunately, though, interactions between Muslims and Christians tend to involve more heat than light. I know people who will happily engage in a debate but who refuse invitations to genuine discussions: they want to win, not to understand.

I have a book containing correspondence between Christians and Muslims, written during the first three centuries of Islam’s development. These letters reveal an amazing lack of understanding of what the other believes. In many ways it can be characterised as:

M: Our prophet is the last and greatest prophet.

C: Oh yeah, well, ours is the light of the world.

M: Oh yeah, well, so is ours. Ours is the light of creation.

C: Well, ours is the word of God.

M: No, he’s a word from God, and to obey the word of our prophet is to obey God himself. So he brings that final word. So there!

C: Well, ours is the Son of God.

M: Oh yuck, that’s a disgusting thought that God would have sex with a woman. Ours is beloved of God from all time.

You get the picture. And, in one form or another, with varying degrees of finesse, this “my prophet is bigger than your prophet” approach to witness has been utilised in much of the dialogue between Muslims and Christians. However, few in each community really know what the other believes. For example, when Christians defend the idea of the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) to Muslims, they don’t realise that Muslims understand the Trinity to mean “Father, Son and Mary”. And when the tenor of interactions is that of feeling attacked and needing to defend (on both sides), the result is conflict, not relationship.

Many expressions of Islam Persians, Bengalis, Pakistanis, Indonesians: these are all large populations that are mainly Muslim. Indeed in the new Pew Report on Islam in the World we see that most Muslims aren’t Arabs: “More than 60% of the global Muslim population is in Asia and about 20% is in the Middle East and North Africa.”

Each Muslim community has its own flavour and expression of Islam. True, just as going to Catholic Mass or to McDonalds is fairly much the same the world over, Muslims can go to any Mosque in the world and feel at home in the ritual and prayer. But in an unfamiliar community, they may also find outlooks, beliefs and practices that astonish them. In Bangladesh, for example, there are hymns of praise to the prophet Muhammad, which traditionalists in the Middle East are appalled at. And in India there are Muslim holy shrines where people go to pray for children and healing, something which the traditionalists also oppose.

We do ourselves, our message and our Muslim neighbours a disservice when we assume that Islam is a monolithic whole. We need to get to know the individuals and their community, their beliefs, their outlook on the world and who they are in their setting. This will mean asking questions and being willing to listen and learn, and making ourselves available to spend time with them, including sharing meals and attending events together. Don’t be afraid to share the celebration of Christmas, as Muslims honour Jesus and are generally happy to celebrate his birth and share in the Bethlehem story. Similarly, prayer is an expected part of public and private life for Muslims. To offer to pray for your neighbours in their daily experience is usually warmly welcomed. In praying with Muslims we have seen people experiencing healing, peace in difficult times, and provision when it was needed. One man said, “Each time I came here I felt such peace. How could I not respond?”

Called to testify A Christian’s primary role in witness is just that: witness. We testify to what we have seen and heard. We’re not called primarily to argue against someone else’s faith, to counter opposing arguments. We’re called to say what we’ve experienced. We’re called to tell our story.

I have a friend in Bangladesh, whose life was turned around by joining a Sufi group (kind of like a charismatic group headed by saints within Islam); he went from a life of violence and alcohol to one of piety. He discusses Christianity with many people and hasn’t been at all convinced by any arguments.

There is one thing about Christianity, however, that gives him pause for thought: when he asks expatriate Christians, “So, what brought you to Bangladesh?” and they reply, “Because God told me to come”, that rattles his cage!

My friend would dearly love to hear the voice of God. He prays, he practises meditation and follows his saint, but he has never experienced God being with him. And that is the same for many Muslims: although they long to experience God, He is so great and powerful – and distant – that the idea of actually knowing Him, particularly as Father, and hearing from Him, is beyond what they can imagine.

Our witness is our story – are we willing to share it? How did we come to know Jesus? How does He relate to us today? What happens when we pray? Yes, we must know our Bibles, and yes, the more information we have on their faith and ours the better, but the heart of our witness is our story: our experience and our relationship with Jesus.

We are not called to combative oneupmanship; any discussion along the lines of “my prophet is bigger than your prophet” will be fraught with defensiveness and aggression. However, as we build relationships with Muslims, and start to share our story, our testimony, we will be making claims that challenge their beliefs. To say that “I prayed for my neighbour and he was healed” is to say “Jesus heals”. Our Muslim friend will be struck by the idea: “Wait a minute here – Jesus heals. But Muhammad doesn’t.” Similarly, to say “Jesus led me” is to say that Jesus is alive; for a Muslim, Muhammad is dead. We must let these comparisons arise naturally, in the course of our everyday interactions with Muslim friends: if we start to push them, then we will see walls raised very, very quickly. However, with gentle honesty and a simple telling of our ongoing story, we can be public about our faith in a way that expresses our love, and still allows the light of Christ to shine.

Colin Edwards is Team Leader of Interserve’s Urban Vision in the UK. 1http://pewforum.org/docs/?DocID=450

The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe … The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world (John 1:5-9).

As believers, we are called to be a light in the dark places. Unfortunately, though, interactions between Muslims and Christians tend to involve more heat than light. I know people who will happily engage in a debate but who refuse invitations to genuine discussions: they want to win, not to understand.

I have a book containing correspondence between Christians and Muslims, written during the first three centuries of Islam’s development. These letters reveal an amazing lack of understanding of what the other believes. In many ways it can be characterised as:

M: Our prophet is the last and greatest prophet.

C: Oh yeah, well, ours is the light of the world.

M: Oh yeah, well, so is ours. Ours is the light of creation.

C: Well, ours is the word of God.

M: No, he’s a word from God, and to obey the word of our prophet is to obey God himself. So he brings that final word. So there!

C: Well, ours is the Son of God.

M: Oh yuck, that’s a disgusting thought that God would have sex with a woman. Ours is beloved of God from all time.

You get the picture. And, in one form or another, with varying degrees of finesse, this “my prophet is bigger than your prophet” approach to witness has been utilised in much of the dialogue between Muslims and Christians. However, few in each community really know what the other believes. For example, when Christians defend the idea of the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) to Muslims, they don’t realise that Muslims understand the Trinity to mean “Father, Son and Mary”. And when the tenor of interactions is that of feeling attacked and needing to defend (on both sides), the result is conflict, not relationship.

Many expressions of Islam Persians, Bengalis, Pakistanis, Indonesians: these are all large populations that are mainly Muslim. Indeed in the new Pew Report on Islam in the World we see that most Muslims aren’t Arabs: “More than 60% of the global Muslim population is in Asia and about 20% is in the Middle East and North Africa.”

Each Muslim community has its own flavour and expression of Islam. True, just as going to Catholic Mass or to McDonalds is fairly much the same the world over, Muslims can go to any Mosque in the world and feel at home in the ritual and prayer. But in an unfamiliar community, they may also find outlooks, beliefs and practices that astonish them. In Bangladesh, for example, there are hymns of praise to the prophet Muhammad, which traditionalists in the Middle East are appalled at. And in India there are Muslim holy shrines where people go to pray for children and healing, something which the traditionalists also oppose.

We do ourselves, our message and our Muslim neighbours a disservice when we assume that Islam is a monolithic whole. We need to get to know the individuals and their community, their beliefs, their outlook on the world and who they are in their setting. This will mean asking questions and being willing to listen and learn, and making ourselves available to spend time with them, including sharing meals and attending events together. Don’t be afraid to share the celebration of Christmas, as Muslims honour Jesus and are generally happy to celebrate his birth and share in the Bethlehem story. Similarly, prayer is an expected part of public and private life for Muslims. To offer to pray for your neighbours in their daily experience is usually warmly welcomed. In praying with Muslims we have seen people experiencing healing, peace in difficult times, and provision when it was needed. One man said, “Each time I came here I felt such peace. How could I not respond?”

Called to testify A Christian’s primary role in witness is just that: witness. We testify to what we have seen and heard. We’re not called primarily to argue against someone else’s faith, to counter opposing arguments. We’re called to say what we’ve experienced. We’re called to tell our story.

I have a friend in Bangladesh, whose life was turned around by joining a Sufi group (kind of like a charismatic group headed by saints within Islam); he went from a life of violence and alcohol to one of piety. He discusses Christianity with many people and hasn’t been at all convinced by any arguments.

There is one thing about Christianity, however, that gives him pause for thought: when he asks expatriate Christians, “So, what brought you to Bangladesh?” and they reply, “Because God told me to come”, that rattles his cage!

My friend would dearly love to hear the voice of God. He prays, he practises meditation and follows his saint, but he has never experienced God being with him. And that is the same for many Muslims: although they long to experience God, He is so great and powerful – and distant – that the idea of actually knowing Him, particularly as Father, and hearing from Him, is beyond what they can imagine.

Our witness is our story – are we willing to share it? How did we come to know Jesus? How does He relate to us today? What happens when we pray? Yes, we must know our Bibles, and yes, the more information we have on their faith and ours the better, but the heart of our witness is our story: our experience and our relationship with Jesus.

We are not called to combative oneupmanship; any discussion along the lines of “my prophet is bigger than your prophet” will be fraught with defensiveness and aggression. However, as we build relationships with Muslims, and start to share our story, our testimony, we will be making claims that challenge their beliefs. To say that “I prayed for my neighbour and he was healed” is to say “Jesus heals”. Our Muslim friend will be struck by the idea: “Wait a minute here – Jesus heals. But Muhammad doesn’t.” Similarly, to say “Jesus led me” is to say that Jesus is alive; for a Muslim, Muhammad is dead. We must let these comparisons arise naturally, in the course of our everyday interactions with Muslim friends: if we start to push them, then we will see walls raised very, very quickly. However, with gentle honesty and a simple telling of our ongoing story, we can be public about our faith in a way that expresses our love, and still allows the light of Christ to shine.

Colin Edwards is Team Leader of Interserve’s Urban Vision in the UK. 1http://pewforum.org/docs/?DocID=450

“Yes!” I replied.

“Do you want another wife?”

“No, thanks. I love my wife. I don’t want another.”

“Don’t you think that our girls are pretty?”

“Yes, they are. But I love my wife, and don’t want another one.”

How many times have I had conversations like this one? More than I care to remember! And any reply I give declining a second wife seems to be met with ridicule. “My wife is my best friend,” was the answer that met with the most ridicule! “Your wife is your friend!!??” Often men here steal their wives… or at least that’s how we translate their action. A better description would be to say that they kidnap and rape young girls that they like the look of. So to them, the idea that their wife might also be a friend is ridiculous. A recent documentary on bride stealing in the country asked a local man why he was getting married: “We need someone to milk the cows.”

Most single expatriates find it hard living here as locals are always trying to marry them off. I know one single lady who created a story about her being a widow with 3 children at university back home in Holland. She used to have great fun creating anecdotes about them to relay to the next taxi driver! When we first came here as a young married couple without children we were always being asked when we were going to have children (or whether we had left them in England…). Now I am here, married, with two children, but still people are not satisfied! “Only one wife! We take two or three! I know of one man who had seven!” “Only two children! I’m one of seventeen!”

I first met Kudaibergen (literally, “Given by God”) 3 years ago. He was working as president of the charity he himself had established for the provision of credit for village farmers. He worked alone with just an accountant in the room next door. I reconnected with him again earlier this year and the staff had increased. The same accountant, Gulia, was still there, but now she was joined by Gulira, Nurbek and Erlan. Kudaibergen, like many people here with a “position,” is quite a proud, authoritative man. His staff have little freedom to use their own initiative. He says “Jump!” and they ask “How high?” He frequently calls his staff into his office to shout at them when they have done something that is not to his satisfaction. I’ve often felt sorry for Gulia. Being a single mum she doesn’t have much opportunity to find alternative work, and this current situation could be better than many others she might find herself in. At least she has a stable income to support herself and her 5 year old son.

5 months ago I thought that Gulia was putting on weight. But, she was actually pregnant! Her second son, Adilet, was born a couple of weeks ago. Well, I must have misunderstood her home situation. I won’t ask questions! It’s not polite! Last week I had to write a letter for Kudaibergen to an English-speaking supporter. I wrote the following text…

“Let me tell you about my family. My wife is called Mirgul. She graduated from the agricultural institute as a vet, but has spent most of her life at home looking after our children. We have 4 boys and 3 girls.

My oldest son is married with one son and one daughter. He lives here and works at an employment office, helping people to find jobs. My second son lives in the capital city and works as a furniture maker. He is married with one son, so I have 3 grandchildren!

My eldest daughter has just finished studying in the capital city and is now working as a beautician. My 3rd son is in year 10 at the Turkish lyceum in town. My 2nd daughter is in year 9. And I also have two younger children who are 5 years and 1 year old.”

Poor woman, I thought! Two more children after all that time? Is that possible? Surely not!

Well, this morning all the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place and I’m still reeling from the shock. Perhaps I should have realised sooner, but if you’re not from a country where this kind of thing happens you don’t expect it and you don’t go looking for it! In yet another “won’t-you-takeanother- wife” conversation Nurbek and Erlan told me that Kudaibergen had a second wife and that I knew who she was. My heart immediately sank. The clues they gave only confirmed my worst thoughts. Gulia is Kudaibergen’s second wife. Adilet, her newly born baby is Kudaibergen’s son. EVERYBODY seems to know about this… and it’s all OK. His first wife knows about his second wife, his second wife knows about the first wife. They live in the same town and frequently see each other. And yet again, I’m the one being laughed at. This time for struggling to cope with the fact that this is all seems to be legitimate when in the country I come from not only is it considered immoral, but it is also illegal.

My heart bleeds for the women of this country.

And just to recap… my wife is my best friend. And yes, I do love my wife. And please feel free to laugh if you want, but I’m proud of it.

“Yes!” I replied.

“Do you want another wife?”

“No, thanks. I love my wife. I don’t want another.”

“Don’t you think that our girls are pretty?”

“Yes, they are. But I love my wife, and don’t want another one.”

How many times have I had conversations like this one? More than I care to remember! And any reply I give declining a second wife seems to be met with ridicule. “My wife is my best friend,” was the answer that met with the most ridicule! “Your wife is your friend!!??” Often men here steal their wives… or at least that’s how we translate their action. A better description would be to say that they kidnap and rape young girls that they like the look of. So to them, the idea that their wife might also be a friend is ridiculous. A recent documentary on bride stealing in the country asked a local man why he was getting married: “We need someone to milk the cows.”

Most single expatriates find it hard living here as locals are always trying to marry them off. I know one single lady who created a story about her being a widow with 3 children at university back home in Holland. She used to have great fun creating anecdotes about them to relay to the next taxi driver! When we first came here as a young married couple without children we were always being asked when we were going to have children (or whether we had left them in England…). Now I am here, married, with two children, but still people are not satisfied! “Only one wife! We take two or three! I know of one man who had seven!” “Only two children! I’m one of seventeen!”

I first met Kudaibergen (literally, “Given by God”) 3 years ago. He was working as president of the charity he himself had established for the provision of credit for village farmers. He worked alone with just an accountant in the room next door. I reconnected with him again earlier this year and the staff had increased. The same accountant, Gulia, was still there, but now she was joined by Gulira, Nurbek and Erlan. Kudaibergen, like many people here with a “position,” is quite a proud, authoritative man. His staff have little freedom to use their own initiative. He says “Jump!” and they ask “How high?” He frequently calls his staff into his office to shout at them when they have done something that is not to his satisfaction. I’ve often felt sorry for Gulia. Being a single mum she doesn’t have much opportunity to find alternative work, and this current situation could be better than many others she might find herself in. At least she has a stable income to support herself and her 5 year old son.

5 months ago I thought that Gulia was putting on weight. But, she was actually pregnant! Her second son, Adilet, was born a couple of weeks ago. Well, I must have misunderstood her home situation. I won’t ask questions! It’s not polite! Last week I had to write a letter for Kudaibergen to an English-speaking supporter. I wrote the following text…

“Let me tell you about my family. My wife is called Mirgul. She graduated from the agricultural institute as a vet, but has spent most of her life at home looking after our children. We have 4 boys and 3 girls.

My oldest son is married with one son and one daughter. He lives here and works at an employment office, helping people to find jobs. My second son lives in the capital city and works as a furniture maker. He is married with one son, so I have 3 grandchildren!

My eldest daughter has just finished studying in the capital city and is now working as a beautician. My 3rd son is in year 10 at the Turkish lyceum in town. My 2nd daughter is in year 9. And I also have two younger children who are 5 years and 1 year old.”

Poor woman, I thought! Two more children after all that time? Is that possible? Surely not!

Well, this morning all the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place and I’m still reeling from the shock. Perhaps I should have realised sooner, but if you’re not from a country where this kind of thing happens you don’t expect it and you don’t go looking for it! In yet another “won’t-you-takeanother- wife” conversation Nurbek and Erlan told me that Kudaibergen had a second wife and that I knew who she was. My heart immediately sank. The clues they gave only confirmed my worst thoughts. Gulia is Kudaibergen’s second wife. Adilet, her newly born baby is Kudaibergen’s son. EVERYBODY seems to know about this… and it’s all OK. His first wife knows about his second wife, his second wife knows about the first wife. They live in the same town and frequently see each other. And yet again, I’m the one being laughed at. This time for struggling to cope with the fact that this is all seems to be legitimate when in the country I come from not only is it considered immoral, but it is also illegal.

My heart bleeds for the women of this country.

And just to recap… my wife is my best friend. And yes, I do love my wife. And please feel free to laugh if you want, but I’m proud of it.

We had planned for this GO to be published in December, but were delayed by building our Interserve NZ website, and then the holiday period. So while we will normally publish two GO magazines a year – plus our new, bi-monthly GO NEWS – there will be three GO magazines in 2010.

A while back now we decided on the topic of ‘Islam’ for this issue. It seems that while the felt impact of the topic gets debated quite widely, and it comes up frequently in the news media, there is still a dismal lack of real engagement. Positive, hope-filled and gracious responses to Muslims are too often drowned out by a cacophony of fearinspiring, divisive and polarising voices. As one of our writers puts it, trying to navigate a truly Christ-like response can feel like standing in no man’s land.

It is a difficult topic, and as we read the thoughtful reflections and stories of our Partners, that comes through loud and clear. Living and working amongst Islamic communities very quickly does away with any romantic notions, and no-one can accuse our writers of naïve or superficial responses. As I write, churches in Malaysia are being firebombed simply because Christians use the word ‘Allah’, as they have done for centuries across the Muslim world. In Iran followers of Christ are incarcerated and threatened, and in Egypt Coptic Christians mourn those shot dead in a mad, communal rampage by their Muslim neighbours. Yes, these situations are real, as they have been through centuries past, and naïveté or political correctness has no place in the face of such tragedy and human suffering.

Yet if we genuinely believe that Jesus Christ is the great reconciler, the only one who saves, the true hope of all ages, the Messiah of God, then we cannot simply continue doing what we have done for far too long, with such poor results. We have avoided real relationship and engagement with our Muslim neighbours, while stereotyping and lumping all Muslims into an easily identifiable, threatening and unwelcome bundle that needs anti-terrorism treatment before we can truly make any effort to share the love of Christ.

Two images come to mind. My home town in Germany, once a staunch bastion of the reformation and evangelicalism, is now home to a growing Islamic community – streets with halal butcheries, Turkish travel agencies, mid-Eastern restaurants and mosques. Forty-odd years after importing the first generation of men as cheap labour to fuel our post-war economic revival, we now have second and third generations who count Germany as home, yet live in a world radically different from their German neighbours just a few houses away. The German church has largely ignored these people, and the command of Christ to go, love, serve, and make disciples, and has, in turn, missed out on the opportunity and the joy of seeing them embrace the love of Christ. Now we wrestle with radicalisation, violence, crime, and an increasingly polarised society that many feel extremely threatened by.

The other image is just a few weeks old, a Christmas celebration at our home here in Auckland. Every December we invite a range of friends, many of them immigrants and international students, to join us for a BBQ and evening to sing, share the Christmas story, and play the ‘gift game’ – a fun event where everyone contributes. We were singing some of the deeply meaningful carols when my eye fell on a dear Muslim friend and her daughter. Earlier we had forgotten to provide halal sausages, so had to pick through the food offerings to ensure there would be no pork on her plate. But here she was, joining in wholeheartedly: “Joy to the world, the Lord is come, let earth receive her King!”

It actually doesn’t have to be all that difficult, does it? Lord, open our eyes to re-learn the Jesus way.