Education

Ainura walked down the street on her way to the village store, her mind occupied with how to persuade her parents to allow her to go to the capital city to study.

At 18 years old, she had finished school the previous summer, and had no desire to spend the rest of her life in the village, helping her mother run the house until her own marriage. And that marriage, she hoped, would not be for a long time yet!

As Ainura walked along, she became aware of a car driving slowly behind her. She idly wondered if the driver needed help finding an address and turned to see. Suddenly the car stopped and three men she didn’t recognise jumped out and ran towards her. Ainura tried to escape but the men were too fast and too strong; they quickly overpowered her and forced her into the car. Ainura continued to struggle as they drove away – she knew the fate that awaited her at the destination: it would be the end of all her hopes and dreams. When the car pulled up outside a house, the youngest man’s family was waiting – holding a headscarf. If they managed to put the headscarf on her head and secure it, then Ainura would be considered married.

She cried and fought as they took her into the house but to no avail. The women gathered around her, all talking together about the time when they themselves were bride-napped; they tried to persuade her that she was getting a good husband and that it would be better for her if she just cooperated – after all, she really didn’t have any choice. Only one hope remained for Ainura – that her family would come and save her – so she continued to struggle until well after dark. Eventually, though, she accepted that her family had chosen not to come, and that by continuing to refuse she would bring shame on them. She also knew that even if she could escape, her family would now refuse to let her return home.

As she permitted the headscarf to be placed on her, she mourned the loss of her dreams. There would be no study, no university: her future was now contained within these four walls. As wife to the youngest son, she would now be responsible for running the household under the authority of her mother-in-law. Dazed, she wondered how her life could have changed so much since she stepped out of her house just that morning…

Ainura’s story is, sadly, all too common here in this part of Central Asia. Bride stealing (Ala Kachuu in the local language) is officially against the law, but has been increasing in the past few years, in both the cities and the villages.

One young believer was kidnapped recently on her way to her university class. A fellow student had jokingly declared he was going to marry her – except he turned out not to be joking. He arranged for his family’s help to bride-nap her, and took her back to his village. She is now unable to finish her university study, and is separated from her like-minded friends and fellowship.

Interserve partners in the south of our country are on to their third language helper, having had both their previous language helpers bride-napped – not a usual language learning problem! Fortunately, not long ago their third helper was able to talk her way out of the same situation and return to her home, where, just as fortunately, her family received her back.

This is rare, as all too often the girl is powerless to do anything but accept the situation. If she runs away, she brings disgrace on her family and is often turned out with nowhere to go. The family see her as a traitor to them and to society, and may disown her completely.

Frequently, the bride-napping is done with the agreement of the girl’s family, although the girl herself will know nothing about the plans that have been made on her behalf. In one such case, a young believer heard that she was about to be stolen by a non-believing man. She told her family that she would not go along with it. For her own safety she then had to flee the country, as the family could well have killed her if she persisted in refusing to marry the man.

The extent of bride-napping is not fully known but is probably great. In one village we visited, about 95% of the women said that they had “been stolen” and seemed to see it as a normal way of life. They all claimed to be happy, and for some this is probably true and the ‘napping’ possibly even happened with their consent. But for many the reverse is the case and they end up in abusive situations involving rape, beatings and other atrocities.

So why is bride-napping such a problem? Why do so many men resort to bride-napping as the means to get a wife? There are cases where it is done more out of tradition, and the girl will be involved in arranging it, along with her family. In these cases it is treated as a joke and part of the celebration. However, more often than not, the girl knows nothing about it, and sometimes does not even know the man involved.

Tradition demands that the youngest son marry so his bride can take on the running of the home and free up his mother to care for the grandchildren. Some men feel that the only guaranteed way to obtain the bride of their choice is to bride-nap her. Other men may be too poor to pay the expected dowry, which may be as much as five horses and other expensive gifts, to the girl’s family. Or – all too often – if the man is known to be involved in alcohol or drug abuse, no one is willing to marry him, and so bride-napping is seen as the only option remaining for his family.

So, if Ala Kachuu is illegal, why is so little being done to stop it? There is a maximum prison sentence of two years for men who are successfully prosecuted; however, this does not seem to act as a deterrent. Ala Kachuu is often ignored by the authorities due to corruption and the view that bridenapping is a family problem, and as such the police prefer not to get involved. In the rare cases where they do take action and are successful in sending the man to prison, the marriage is not declared void. The wife then has to live with the shame not only of being bride-napped in the first place, but also of her husband’s imprisonment.

Ainura now lives happily with her husband and two children but she still thinks wistfully of what might have been, and makes plans for her daughter’s future, plans that include university and a good job. It’s the kind of future that, sadly, was stolen from Ainura, and is stolen from many women in this nation. Ainura’s hopes for her daughter could become reality – but only if the perpetrators of Ala Kachuu come to recognise that bride-napping is not a harmless cultural tradition, but rather a violation of women’s basic rights to dignity and free choice.

The author has been living in Central Asia with her family for the past six years, and is involved in community health education.

Education

Ainura walked down the street on her way to the village store, her mind occupied with how to persuade her parents to allow her to go to the capital city to study.

At 18 years old, she had finished school the previous summer, and had no desire to spend the rest of her life in the village, helping her mother run the house until her own marriage. And that marriage, she hoped, would not be for a long time yet!

As Ainura walked along, she became aware of a car driving slowly behind her. She idly wondered if the driver needed help finding an address and turned to see. Suddenly the car stopped and three men she didn’t recognise jumped out and ran towards her. Ainura tried to escape but the men were too fast and too strong; they quickly overpowered her and forced her into the car. Ainura continued to struggle as they drove away – she knew the fate that awaited her at the destination: it would be the end of all her hopes and dreams. When the car pulled up outside a house, the youngest man’s family was waiting – holding a headscarf. If they managed to put the headscarf on her head and secure it, then Ainura would be considered married.

She cried and fought as they took her into the house but to no avail. The women gathered around her, all talking together about the time when they themselves were bride-napped; they tried to persuade her that she was getting a good husband and that it would be better for her if she just cooperated – after all, she really didn’t have any choice. Only one hope remained for Ainura – that her family would come and save her – so she continued to struggle until well after dark. Eventually, though, she accepted that her family had chosen not to come, and that by continuing to refuse she would bring shame on them. She also knew that even if she could escape, her family would now refuse to let her return home.

As she permitted the headscarf to be placed on her, she mourned the loss of her dreams. There would be no study, no university: her future was now contained within these four walls. As wife to the youngest son, she would now be responsible for running the household under the authority of her mother-in-law. Dazed, she wondered how her life could have changed so much since she stepped out of her house just that morning…

Ainura’s story is, sadly, all too common here in this part of Central Asia. Bride stealing (Ala Kachuu in the local language) is officially against the law, but has been increasing in the past few years, in both the cities and the villages.

One young believer was kidnapped recently on her way to her university class. A fellow student had jokingly declared he was going to marry her – except he turned out not to be joking. He arranged for his family’s help to bride-nap her, and took her back to his village. She is now unable to finish her university study, and is separated from her like-minded friends and fellowship.

Interserve partners in the south of our country are on to their third language helper, having had both their previous language helpers bride-napped – not a usual language learning problem! Fortunately, not long ago their third helper was able to talk her way out of the same situation and return to her home, where, just as fortunately, her family received her back.

This is rare, as all too often the girl is powerless to do anything but accept the situation. If she runs away, she brings disgrace on her family and is often turned out with nowhere to go. The family see her as a traitor to them and to society, and may disown her completely.

Frequently, the bride-napping is done with the agreement of the girl’s family, although the girl herself will know nothing about the plans that have been made on her behalf. In one such case, a young believer heard that she was about to be stolen by a non-believing man. She told her family that she would not go along with it. For her own safety she then had to flee the country, as the family could well have killed her if she persisted in refusing to marry the man.

The extent of bride-napping is not fully known but is probably great. In one village we visited, about 95% of the women said that they had “been stolen” and seemed to see it as a normal way of life. They all claimed to be happy, and for some this is probably true and the ‘napping’ possibly even happened with their consent. But for many the reverse is the case and they end up in abusive situations involving rape, beatings and other atrocities.

So why is bride-napping such a problem? Why do so many men resort to bride-napping as the means to get a wife? There are cases where it is done more out of tradition, and the girl will be involved in arranging it, along with her family. In these cases it is treated as a joke and part of the celebration. However, more often than not, the girl knows nothing about it, and sometimes does not even know the man involved.

Tradition demands that the youngest son marry so his bride can take on the running of the home and free up his mother to care for the grandchildren. Some men feel that the only guaranteed way to obtain the bride of their choice is to bride-nap her. Other men may be too poor to pay the expected dowry, which may be as much as five horses and other expensive gifts, to the girl’s family. Or – all too often – if the man is known to be involved in alcohol or drug abuse, no one is willing to marry him, and so bride-napping is seen as the only option remaining for his family.

So, if Ala Kachuu is illegal, why is so little being done to stop it? There is a maximum prison sentence of two years for men who are successfully prosecuted; however, this does not seem to act as a deterrent. Ala Kachuu is often ignored by the authorities due to corruption and the view that bridenapping is a family problem, and as such the police prefer not to get involved. In the rare cases where they do take action and are successful in sending the man to prison, the marriage is not declared void. The wife then has to live with the shame not only of being bride-napped in the first place, but also of her husband’s imprisonment.

Ainura now lives happily with her husband and two children but she still thinks wistfully of what might have been, and makes plans for her daughter’s future, plans that include university and a good job. It’s the kind of future that, sadly, was stolen from Ainura, and is stolen from many women in this nation. Ainura’s hopes for her daughter could become reality – but only if the perpetrators of Ala Kachuu come to recognise that bride-napping is not a harmless cultural tradition, but rather a violation of women’s basic rights to dignity and free choice.

The author has been living in Central Asia with her family for the past six years, and is involved in community health education.

Education

A few years ago a stranger approached my landlady at the local bazaar, and told her about a man who could help her with her problems. “Is he a rich man?” she asked, because she needed $2000. The stranger was talking about Jesus, and he encouraged her to pray, which she did. A few days later, someone knocked at her door and asked to rent some of the rooms. When she asked how much they would pay, it was $2000.

My landlady found out more about this faith and became a believer. Her attitude to her husband and family became more loving. As she stopped beating her children, they recognized the change in her and they too believed. When her daughter was desperately ill with typhoid, they prayed and she recovered. Her husband doesn’t allow her to have regular contact with other believers, but we’re sometimes able to pray and share together.

If you look in an atlas published before 1991 you won’t find the Central Asian republics- the five ‘stans’ west of China. They were occupied by the Soviet Union for much of the twentieth century, and underwent huge upheaval after the collapse and withdrawal of the Soviet Union in the early nineties. However these are ancient lands, through which invaders, explorers and merchants such as Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great and Marco Polo travelled on their camels and horses along the Silk Road.

The Central Asian country I work in is predominantly Muslim, and the majority of the people live in serious poverty – the average annual income is only 2% of the average New Zealand income. They are people scarred by a history of violence and oppression, and feel powerless in the face of injustice, high unemployment and substandard public services. They long for their country to become peaceful and prosperous, but there is much political corruption, incompetence and naivety amongst the country’s leaders: despite the authoritarian brutality of the Soviet regime, many people desire the return of the stability it brought.

Living in Central Asia is not easy, with extreme heat in summer and bitter cold in winter. Outside the main city there is limited or no electricity for four months of winter – ironically, the country ranks among the top in the world for water resources and electricity generation potential. Where I live, the water that comes out of the tap is often chocolate-brown dirty – we call it ‘typhoid water.’ My housing is much better than one of my visitors, though: I was shocked to discover she lived in a hovel, with cardboard boxes along one side serving as walls and a dirty drainage ditch running through the middle of it. She lived right next door to a grand embassy building.

I am a teacher working with educated adults: young professionals, bankers, business people, government workers and university students.

A taxi driver told us his story. He had been in prison – not a pleasant place – and a religious leader told him this was his destiny. The man was angry at God for this, but had a revelation of Jesus in a vision and said, “God, if you are real, of course I will follow you.” Now out of prison, both he and his wife are believers.

It was very important for local people to be able to slot me into a role (“Oh, she’s a teacher”), in order to accept me. They also value the contribution I’m bringing to their community: education opens doors to employment and further education opportunities, and is needed in order for the country to develop. Some of our former students completed further studies abroad before returning to Central Asia to take up high level leadership positions with international development and aid organisations.

School provides more than education, though – it also provides opportunities for students and staff to build meaningful relationships. Several women in my classes told me how they made supportive friendships and gained a sense of self–worth through school. In one particular class the women formed a strong bond, and a group of them would come regularly to my home throughout the summer break. They witnessed how God answered our prayers – for example, a student’s mother who was desperately ill with a bleeding artery in her neck recovered after we prayed for her. Some of these women and their families have become my long-term friends.

People are very hospitable, and I sometimes found myself in unusual situation, such as singing The Yellow Submarine at a karaoke party held to celebrate Women’s Day. The philosophy was that we had to make the most of this day as it was the only day in the year that was any good for women! The hostess, a somewhat vodka-drunken Russian-speaking downstairs neighbour, ended up becoming a good friend, and proved to be a real help when I had a flood and unexpected intruders in my flat.

The local people generally think of Christianity as a foreign religion, and consider their own religion (mainly folk Islam) to be an integral part of their national identity. A handful of my friends, however, expressed a serious interest in Christianity as they saw it being worked out in my life.

A Sixteen Year Journey God has led me gently and step by step into crosscultural work. It started back in 1992 when I made the decision to do something purposeful with the rest of my life. At the time I was picking carnations on a flower farm, which gave me plenty of time to pray for God to show me His direction for my life. I wasn’t really considering going overseas because I wasn’t a very confident traveller, but then in 1993 the door opened up for me to go on a short-term mission trip to Vietnam. It really inspired me, and since then I have spent a year in Russia, made two short-term trips to the mountain areas of Pakistan, and lived in Central Asia for two years.

Each trip made me more ready for the next, and caused me to grow in faith. I’m so glad that I went, as all the trips have been amazing highlights and growth periods in my life.

The decision to come to Central Asia was more difficult, as I didn’t have a strong sense of calling to this country. But I came because I was available and needed, and was confident that I would be given sufficient support from inside and outside the country to enable me to do a good job. “Send me forth, Lord, bearing seed, destroying our fears, conscious of our needs.”

When a 14 year-old neighbour became seriously ill with meningitis, we prayed for his recovery and, after two months in hospital, he came home. It was a delight to once again hear him singing in the stairwell and thumping out one-finger tunes on my old Russian piano.

My once-a-week cleaning lady became a loyal friend, and introduced me to her village relatives. She knew how to fix important things like telephone lines that wouldn’t connect. Her sister had died of tuberculosis, and over the months we walked through her grieving together. Although she still holds to her traditional superstitious beliefs she has recognized that God answers our prayers.

The church here is small, weak and doesn’t seem to be growing. But I have a lot of respect for the local believers, who are unafraid to shine their light courageously. One pretty young woman has a visible joy; she is undeterred in her continued witness even after recovering from a tragic neardeath encounter a few years ago, when a bomb explosion targeting young Christians succeeded in killing ten. There’s a solo mother who bravely runs a business, undaunted by harassment from family and officials with their long interrogations; a flatmate who, even though only a young believer, steadfastly preached out in the villages despite there being strong opposition and demands that she stop; and the busy mother of five young children who took the time to patiently and sensitively befriend a lonely refugee woman of a different faith. These are just some of the people who give me hope that Christ is at work in this land.

Robin is currently on Home Assignment, and is available to share about her experiences with interested groups. Please contact the Interserve office for more information.